Geoffrey W. Gilbert FLUTOLOGIST Director of the University of Tampa at Smiley School of Fine Arts, Research, Teaching, and Science PRICE LIST Diagnosis Fees Embouchure Change: Too Tight..................................................................................................................................... $75 Too Loose................................................................................................................................... $15 Jaw Re-alignment *(see professional referrals).......................................................................... Ludicrous Lips.............................................................................................................................  $50 Tone Quality: Harmonic extraction (Hollow, soft, pure, neutral, aquarium)...................................................... $100 Harmonic addition (Dark, bright, hard)....................................................................................... $100 (Additional charge for relief of Diffused, Brittle or Dead tone.) Vibrato Variations: Hysterical (Nanny goat).............................................................................................................. $99 Incessant................................................................................................................................. ... $60 Leaking....................................................................................................................................... $35 Slow Wobble............................................................................................................................... $50 Shallow........................................................................................................................................ $25 Body Movement: Deep Knee Bends....................................................................................................................... $20 Weaving...................................................................................................................................... $80 Rocking on tip toes..................................................................................................................... $15 Elbow lifting and sweeping...................................................................................................... ... $25 Facial distortions (Eyebrow lifting, scowling, chewing)............................................................... $75 Sagging chin............................................................................................................................... $65 Hand Position: Key slapping (flying fingers).................................................................................................... ... $30 G# antenna................................................................................................................................. $65 Popping low C’s..........................................................................................................................  $20 Straight wrists............................................................................................................................. $30 Phrasing: Explosive articulation (toothpaste squeeze)................................................................................ $99 Bulges.......................................................................................................................................... $99 Note terminations......................................................................................................................... $50 Breathing: Gulping air.................................................................................................................................... $40 Asthmatic gasping........................................................................................................................ $35 Shallow......................................................................................................................................... $75 (Additional charges for ribcage brace and shoulder harness) Intonation: Sharp high notes.......................................................................................................................... $25 Flat low notes............................................................................................................................... $25 Sharp fortes.................................................................................................................................. $50 Flat pianissimos............................................................................................................................ $50 Manufacture and design programs (Standard Powell).................................................................. $50 Alternate Fingerings: Including trills, harmonic, fake............................................................................................... each $15 Special for June only.............................................................................................................  2 for $25 Presentation: Analysis paralysis......................................................................................................................... $50 Intimidation.................................................................................................................................... $75 Crouching behind stand................................................................................................................ $90 Catatonic trance............................................................................................................................ $100 *Professional referrals are recommended for serious problems. Dr. I.C. TUCLOSE........................................................................................................................... (visual) DR.HOLDER STILLMAN................................................................................................. (Body Alignment) DR. CRACK R. GRIND...................................................................................... (Id restraint or restoration) MONSIEUR PFOF. TOUTOU DETACHE............................................................................. French diction MADAME CALME NERVE..................................................................................................... Pshchologist IF ALL ELSE FAILS...................... TAKE TWO ASPIRIN and PRACTICE!!!
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